Just Kidding: The Serious Side of Me

BAgo ako magsimula, tnong lang: bakit may mga tao… kpag pumara sa jeep at huminto ito (yung tipong hindi nmn stop light, walang tumtawid, walang traffic– obvious na dahil nagpara sila..) titingin pa sa driver at magtatanong– "pwede?"… tpos, maghihintay pa tlga ng sgot sa driver bago bumaba…ang weird noh? ala lng, tnong lang diba..

Kagagaling ko lng sa national center for mental health knna… hindi ako ngpacheck up okei. Binalikan ko lng ung mga questionnaires para sa research nmin na supposedly ay two days lang nmin ikoconduct na ngaun ay nsa fifth day na. Anyway,base sa kinahinatnan ng pagod ko knna, mukhang aabot kmi sa sixth day, Karamihan ng mga respondents na pinagbigayan nmin ng questionaires ay off duty.. Hay… Actually okei lng nmn un… wala nmng kaso kung bbalik pa sa lunes…Ang gusto ko tlgang ishare ngaun ay ung nangyari sa akin bago ako napadpad sa mental.

Alas tres na ng hapon nun, nasa stop and shop na ko… Pakay ko tlgang abutan sa mental ay ang afternoon shift– sila nlng kasi ung hindi pa ngbabalik ng questionnaire. anyway, un nga…from stop shop, sumakay ako ng jeep papuntang JRU. Wla nmng nging problema, sandali lng ay nsa JRU na ko. SA JRU, pumunta ako sa terminal ng jeep na papuntang libertad at sumakay sa jeep na malapit nang mapuno. Halos puno na ung jeep kaya medyo upong panlimang piso na lang ang ikinasya n pwet ko sa upuan. Ayos nmn, komportable nmn ako. SA kabila ng msikip na mundo sa loob ng jeep, hindi pa pala ito puno tulad ng sa inaasahan ko… isang pasahero pa ang pinasakay nila at dito na nagsimula ang storya na ibabahagi ko ngaun.

Isang babae, nsa anyong 30++ ang sumakay sa jeep, nakaskirt, nka blouse na may patong na vest, may dalang bag, maayos nmn ang dating, mukhang malinis, mukhang pankaraniwang mamayan ng Pilipinas… well, un ung impression ko sa kanya hanggang sa pumasok na cya ng jeep.

Palibhasa malapit ako sa estribo (ako ang pangalawa sa pasahero n malapit sa estribo) at ang bakanteng upuan ay nsa bandang gitna, sa pagdaan nung pasahero, di ko maiwasang di mapansin ang kakaibang tingin nung ale sa akin at sa iba pang pasahero na nadaanan nya. Indi yung tipong tingin n may pagnanasa ha.. parang paranoid and dating nung tingin nya… pagdating nya dun sa bakanteng upuan, pag-upo nya, biglang nagbago ang expression ng mukha– nging blanko bigla. sa puntong ito, nag-iba ang impression ko sa kanya– magpapacheck up cguro ito sa ppuntahan ko.

Ang totoo, hindi ko nmn tlga cya gnun pinansin, medyo nweirduhan lang ako tlaga sa tingin nya, pero dedma na after nun. Gusto ko n nga tlgang wag pansinin hanggang sa pagbaba ko pero tlgang tukso ang tadhana. palibahasa bandang unahan sya at isang pasahero lang ang pgitan nmin, sa pag-abot ko ng bayad ko ay sya ang sumalo… (gnun prin ang tingin nya– medyo may bahid n ngaun ng pagka-asar –sa kadahilangn di ko alm)

Palibahasa’y buo ang ibinayad ko, sampung piso at studyante lang, umaasa ako ng sukli. SA pagbalik ng sukli, sya ulit ang nkasalo… inaasahan ko na iaabot na nya, subalit hindi… binilang pa nya muna ito. Napansin nya cguro na iniintay ko ung sukli, tinanong nya ako kung sakin ba yun.. natural tumango ako… akala ko ibibgay n nya, pero hindi prn, binilang pa nya ito ulit habang bumubulong bulong… Natakot ako n baka hindi nya ibigay ang sukli.. sa bandang huli, ang dapt na kuwatro kong sukli ay naging tres matapos kunin nung ale ang piso at ibalik sa mamang driver… gusto pa nga nya atang makipag dibate nun kung magkano ang tamang pamasahe, pero tumahimik nlng ako… napatingin nlng ako sa ibang pasahero na nangingiti sa kinasapitan ko.

Ang sandaling byahe papuntang mental ay nging mahaba dhil sa mga pinaggawa nun ale… maliban kac sa akin, lahat ng magababayad at dumadaan sa kanya ay binibilang pa nya muna. Matapos, bigla n lmang syang tatawa… sabay biglang blanko nnmn ulit ang mukha… natatakot n nga rin ung ibang pasahero kac ngging pronounce na ung pagka-unique nya at medyo mlaks n ang tawa nya pero un.. Natapos ang mahabang byahe, pagbaba ko ng NCMH. Sa pagbaba ko, napnsin ko n bumaba rin cya.. ang sabay nmin pagsakay sa jeep ay sapat na kaya nmn nagmadali akong maglakad ng sa gnun ay di kmi magkasabay… at un, dun na natapos ang storya ko ngaun.:)

Nakakalungkot isipin noh, sa kabila ng sinasabi nating free will at identity ng tao.. magkaron lang ng irregular na dmi ng asin sa sabaw ng utak ay mag-iiba na ang personalidad mo… hay.. Nway, till here na lng… may ggawin p pla ko.. ciao!

(Tlagang asa k na may kausap ka noh… feeling mo tlga may nagbabasa dito… asa k tlga… asa!!)

In this year in Harry’s wizard life, Voldemort has already come to full exposure to the wizarding world. After what happened last year (Order of the Phoenix) as the whole ministry was awaken by two groups of wizardz fighting over this prophecy which states the who’s who and the what’s what of the future concerning the dark lord. At any rate, as i was saying, the whole wizarding community is now aware of The DArk Lords rerisen and that Potter was not really having some dellusions or having that papansin syndrome. In contrast to their previous outlook, they were now attaching the title The "Chosen ONe" to his name (though in fact -as the prophecy declared- this is true, the community was just basing from a mere speculation)

So, as what am i saying continues, the wheel has turn for harry. but of course, with everything about voldemort exisetnce was revealed, things has also turned around harry- people and things around him has also changed.

ONe of these changes is the arrival of a new professor… were you thinking for teh defense against the dark arts?- if yes, you guessed wrong. It was Snape who got the position of teaching DADA, the new professor (uhmm- at the moment i forgot his name) was assigned to teaching their potion class.

In this class -the potion class, the role of the halfblood prince enters. It was actually a book of Potion (the standard book for their potion class) only that this one was scribbled with notes of some helpful tricks in creating potions and some spell which was not present in their Standard book of Spells. The said notes was seemed to be wriiten by the previous owner which is the HAlf blood prince.

Another change in the story was the deviation of Malfoy’s usual behaviour from being a papansin to a very discreet to almost an absence of his existence. From his previous bahaviour being a loud mouth and an absolute jerk, In this season of HP, he was quite, well– quiet. There were not much noise of insult or sneer from him during this year, though they were still of mortal enemy, malfoy was just really trying to make himself as low profiled as possible. With This changes, harry has become suspicious on malfoly and decided to spy on him. Well there are a lot of things happened with this suspicion-and-spy-thing, some these was the broken nose at the hogwarts express,The aching toe at the seventh floor,and the look-at-what-happened-for-not-believing-me after the attack of the death eaters (am i spoiling something? or teasing?– or spilling? duh… bahala na)

I would like end it here… this was just the first. I know the next installment would as uninteresting to read as this one, but waddo u know…

PS: as much as possible i dont want to get to the details — Its not that i dont want to spoil the book for those who havent read it yet– im just not good at giving clear details.. ngaun pa, englis-englisan ako.. HUh! asa..

I was suppose to write (or type- if that seems more appropriate) about HP 6.. you know– the much-more-like-a-spoiler-rather-than-a-teaser type. Nway, the last minute, i changed my mind… nothing- for no reason at all… I jst want to say, im happy.
Really, I just want to say, i feel a lot better. Though i got the typical grade a Mr Santos can give to an average student like me (well, this blog was not really about my grades, their not important to me at the moment), i feel better… Better in a sense that im okei.. well, not really okei- that is understating. wht im really trying to describe was that i feel like im floating… floating in a sense that im in cloud nine. uhmm. wait,i guess cloud would be overstating let say cloud eight- yes i fell like i was in cloud eight… Hmm… i know, people reading would think this is some of my queer, irky writings (or typing- if some would again think appropriate) again. But this is not… I was just trying to discribe somthing thats been.. that’s been…somthing like.. the feeling of having somthing flying inside the belly… the butterfly thing that flutters inside the tummy. Well it felt weird actually, but despite the weird sensation — im lovin it.
Hay… i reallly dont know how to describe.. i feel light, i feel graced, parang i see light, i feel glad… like i never been sad (kac nga db, nkuha n ung midterm grade). HAy…
Ngaun, d ko alam if its because of the smile (oh.. her smile)or the laugh (oh .. yes… the chukly laugh.. hay…).. or the feeling of overcoming the cold silence?…or is it because of the hampas?:)
At any reason.. it doesnt matter.. Im in smily mood.. Till here then…

And he fell… like a log that’ve been cut, he fell into the smooth, cold floor.. his eyes shut –tight… a painful grimace was on his face… he seems to be having a nightmare… his pleading.."dont! i dont want! stop!"

A boy has forced-drink a green liquid substance on him and It seems, the vision that scare him turn into a devilishy-cruciating experience- trampling side to side he is screaming.."stop it!! stop!!" The boy, the only breathing creature that’s with him that moment has nothing to do but to continue filling into his mouth the green substance –though he think it was the source of the old man’s suffering– he has no choice, he’s on an agreement.

He was screaming, hoarse scream of pain and fear.."Kill me!!, Kill me!!" the boy was trembling.. as he dont know what will happen next…for the last  time he forced the old man to sip the goblet of the green substance– the last of it and it’ll all be over..the next thing happen — silence.

At last i get a hold of a copy of HP6!! (Har harr)

I was reading chapter 26 last night and the scene above (though not exactly as that in the book) was the part ive been reading…uhmmm…  I dont really know why i started sharing this part of the book…uhmm… — Ahh! yeah-i remember (obviously i know it all along)  This part of the book started the most dreadful feeling i felt in the history of me reading the HP series.

Obviously, from there, when harry and dumbledore was trying to retrieve a horcrux (in a cave somwer– horctux is.. something i dont want to discribe :p) Dumbledore had to drink a green substance in order to get the item (the horcrux)  which is submerged in it… hay… as i was trying to re tell the story… im having the urge to drop this sharing thing and go back to my copy of HP6..

(I think im going for my urge)

Darn! once more — sleepless night. JK Rowling, u’ve done it again.

(i dont mean to leave.. but i really feel i have to na…for those who were reading– m sorry. For those who were not– what should i say? definitely, none:)

Till here then, ciao! (if i managed to get online again.. ill try.. next time it’ll be more of a spoiler, rather than a teaser..;)

Thank you po

thank you po

uve done so much

sobra na po

khit gnito

purong tao

tigmak ng palya

isang imperpekto

thank you po

thank you po

di nilisan tabi ko

khit puso’y nalalayo

thank you po

thank you po

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Note: Gusto ko lng psalamatan c mam che (mam laguidao) at ang author ng tula n un na ipinabasa nya sa amin minsan noon sa intensive english… dahil sa kanila, nkgawa ako ng isang mgandang blog entry.. ang pinakamaganda marahil sa lahat ng mga entry na nai-enter ko na.

    Uhmmm..1st day of september: una sa 11 days na pinalagpas ng mga terrorista bgo pinasalpok ang eroplano sa twin tower doon sa amerika… ang araw din na pinalagpas nmin kharap ang mga panelist pra sa proposal ng thesis nmin… hay, ang hirap pla… mahirap pero masarap. Yung mkita mo lng cya… yung mplapit k sa knya… prang bumbagal ang pghinga mo sa bwat hakbang habang naglalakad  at nsa tabi mo sya… eww, ano nnmn ba yung amoy na un?? 
    parang ayoko ng huminga minsan, nkksuya na ang hangin dito sa maynila… Kung pede na sanang mag-abroad ngaun na… Kaya lng, tumaas nnmn ang gasolina, mhihrapan nnmn akong mag-ipon… sna makakain na ko ng hapunan.. ano b nmn kacng gngawa ko pa? bkit nmn kac my mga bgay n ang sarap gwin khit wla kng malaking, kapakipakinabang na nhihita… parang panlalait ng tao, bkit ba my mga taong tuwang tuwa sa panlalait ng iba… lalu n ung sayang sayang pngtatawanan ang isang taong walang kamuang muang… yung parang inosente sa mga kamalian nya sa katawn… hay… ano b nmn mundo meron dito sa earth? 
    bkit b my mga creature png tumitira ng kung ano-anong kemikal… kaya nmn ang dming pasyente ngaun dun sa Manda… anong manda? hehe bkit b my mga taong mhilig gmwa ng mga bgay bgay… ung tipong mapapatanong k ng "bakit?" or "ano ba yun?". Minsan tuloy nkktakot manghula ng sagot.. para kasing lahat tama, hindi mo alam kung anong sunod mong gagawin, may pag-asa k b? mahal k rinb ba nya.. ung mga gnun.. minsan tuloy gusto ko ng tigilan ang paglalaro ng chess… ang daming kasing secret plans, move hindi ko n tuloy alam kung mate na ba ako o my chance ma-stale or better– manalo.
    Siguro iniisip nnmn ng iba jan patama sa kanila o kya e alang wenta nnmng gawain ito… bkit ba kac ang dling manghusga ng kapwa… npkadaling sabihin na ang "sama nya", "wala siyang nkwenta", "hayup", "baboy" at kung ano-ano pa.. samantalang hindi pa nmn dumidilat ang Haring Araw para tanglawan ang kadiliman ng mapanlinlang na Gabi.
    Sino nga plang may sabing lagi sumisikat ang araw? cno bang may sabing lumulubog ito? ang weird nmn… d ba nandyan nmn lagi ang araw. hindi nmn ito nwawala… minsan kac ang mga tao, ang lumalayo sa araw, tulad ng pagikot ng mundo… hindi ginusto ng araw n mwala sa kanyang pningin ang mukha ng mundon niyuyurakan ng paulit-ulit ng mga taong sakim at tampalasan…
    mga sakim n khit nsa knila n ang lhat ay gusto png kunin ang ulam sa pinggan ng iba… prang asong gutom n mbilis na kumkagat sa dog food ng mga kasamng aso, malingat lamang cla…minsan tuloy iniisip ko… bkit ba may mga asong pasawy… ung umihi sa kama mo.. ung nagpapabaho ng bahay mo.. gnun din kya ang iniisip ng mgician kpg binubunut nya ang rabbit sa kanyang hat at madiskobre nyang basa ang loob ng wiwi ng rabbit? ibabalibag nya kya ung rabbit sa inis o bubuhayin p nya ito, pakakainin at aalagaan? bkit kya may gnun? ibig kong sabihin, may tao kyang mkakagawa ng gnun? yung khit ihian ng kapwa ang sumbrero mo hindi k mgagalit? parang pag iniputan k sa ulo ng asawa mo? o kyay pinindeho ka ng kabusiness deal mo? meron p kyang mga tao n kpg  cnbihan ng "halimaw", "ogre" at habulin ng fitch pork ay okei prin at babalik ng nakasmile at ng tthumbs up pa? ang weird siguro…
    pero marahil mas nwiweirduhan n ang mga taong tumitingin lang at nikikramdam sa mga gawain ng mga akala nila’y mga taong walang mgawa… ung tipong mga walang maibukang bibig n mhusay at dndaan nlng ang laht sa saya. Sana merong mga tao n mrunong tumingin sa mga sinulid lalu na sa pgitan nun– you know, sa mga himaymay. Bka kac mmya, ung iba, hindi nila makita ang bagy sa loob ng banga. Iniisip nila walng kwenta ito at gngwa nilang panambak kasama ng ibang mga debris. HAy… ang sakit nnmn ng batok ko… bkt ba may mga psakit pa– lalu n sa batok?
    xguro nga sobra na… cge. Kung sakali mang sumikat ang araw at tmaan ang mga aswang at vampira, sana sa susunod andyan ka pa… cno bang "ka" ang tinutukoy ko eh ako lng nmn plang mag-isa ang nandito… ano ba yan di na ko nsanay… may nk-abot kya sa bahagi na to? –bahala na, burned out na ko. Jan nmn mgaling ang pinoy, bahala na.
    Gusto ko n sanang mg let go, pero may sumagi sa utak ko… sana wala nmng magtatanong sakin kung anong ibig sabihin ng mundo.. o kya ng bagay na ito… sayng nmn ang pagtatago ng easter egg kung ituturo nmn ito di ba… UHm.. hay.. assuming nnmn… cge na.